Jewish World Review Sept. 26, 2003 / 29 Elul, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
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The Senate voted Tuesday to ban commercial events on the
National Mall. They were mad over the NFL opening day show. It was
advertised as the World's Largest Tailgate Party, and Tailgate is
the nickname in Washington for the Ken Starr Report.
Islamic terrorists in Iraq attacked a movie theater in Mosul
Wednesday. They were upset the theater was showing a pornographic
movie so they tossed a hand grenade at the screen. That's one vote
against Mary Carey for California governor.
California broadcasters held a debate Wednesday for the top
governor candidates. They were a bodybuilder, a socialist, a
conservative, a harpie, and the only dull Hispanic in the world.
Look at the five of them, if they were cards, you would fold.
Arianna Huffington annoyed everybody at the debate with her
heavily-accented non-stop talking and her camera hogging. She's
getting a lot of media coverage. The Discovery Channel is doing a
documentary about her life entitled The Lost Gabor.
Arianna accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of mistreatment of
women. When he could get a word in, he said he has a special role
for her in Terminator Four. Offering a woman a part in a movie in
exchange for silence is a tradition as old as Hollywood.
Republican Tom McClintock was judged by consensus the winner
of the debate on Wednesday. He was smart, he was specific and
eloquent. He's expected to easily carry California Republicans
because he has the same last name as a John Wayne movie.
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01/02/03:Annual Review of the Past Year's Mischief
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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