Jewish World Review July 19, 2002 /10 Menachem-Av, 5762
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Ted Williams' will was made public on Tuesday and it supports his daughter's contention that he wanted to be cremated. Unfortunately, he's frozen right now at minus three hundred sixty degrees. He looks like he just heard from Dean Witter.
The Portland Beavers minor league baseball team held an Arthur Andersen Appreciation Night Thursday. There were no surprises. By the fifth inning, nobody knew the score, the team owner was under indictment, and the players' wives were posing for Playboy.
Dr. Jack Kevorkian asked the Supreme Court to give people the right to commit doctor-assisted suicide. Who needs a doctor anymore? More and more Americans are closing the garage door, getting inside the car and turning on the Business Channel.
Democrats were unable to reach agreement Wednesday in the debate over health care plans for seniors. How high are medical costs? It's a new rule that the emergency room at every hospital must be located right next to the cashier's office.
Saddam Hussein predicted Iraq will defeat the U.S. and Palestinians will defeat Israel. He'll be out of there any day now. With that kind of talent for picking winners, it is just a matter of time before Caesar's Palace sends a plane for him.
Reverend Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson Jr. descended on Los Angeles this week to protest the latest police beating caught on videotape. A riot like the one in 1992 is highly unlikely. Those new TV sets are way too heavy to carry at full speed.