Jewish World Review April 24, 2002 / 13 Iyar, 5762
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Bill Clinton and Michael Jackson are hosting a Democratic fundraiser tonight in Harlem at the Apollo Theater. No one can believe it. How either guy avoided being summoned to Rome this week by Pope John Paul II is one of life's many mysteries.
French voters voted right-wing extremist Jean-Marie Le Pen into the runoff for president on Sunday. It's no surprise. Once Mel Brooks turned Adolf Hitler into a musical comedy star it was inevitable that France would be the first to fall.
Osama bin Laden looked much younger in two new videos released on Al-Jazeera last week. It's clear he's no longer dangerous. One look at him and it's obvious he has taken his best people off anthrax research and put them to work making botox.
The PLO complained to Europeans Monday that Israel is humiliating them. It's apparent that Israel has a plan. They want to completely demonize Palestinians in the hope that, if they grow horns, President Bush will mistake them for caribou.
Dick Cheney showed up at a GOP fundraiser in Orlando Monday on crutches. His staff claimed that he hurt his Achilles tendon when he banged his ankle on a coffee table. The truth is, Earth Day makes an oilman mad enough to kick in a wall.
Attorney General John Ashcroft issued a terror warning Thursday for possible al-Qaeda attacks on East Coast banks. This was the seventeenth terrorism alert issued by his office. Eternal vigilance is the price of twenty-four hour cable news.
France released seven suspected terrorists connected to shoe bomber Richard Reid on Monday. Authorities refused to hold them. The government wanted them out of the country before they got fifteen percent of the vote in the next election.
Wall Street Week's former host Louis Rukeyser took his show to CNBC Friday and drew 609,000 viewers. Executives at the network were thrilled. It's the most TV viewers any man's had on cable in the last five years without murdering his wife.