Jewish World Review Sept. 19, 2003 / 22 Elul, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
Las Vegas is reporting full employment due to booming
business in the casino hotels. You can have rum on your breath, a
glass eye or a hook for an arm, and they will give you a job. It
may be at Treasure Island but they will give you a job.
Hurricane Isabel approached the Eastern Seaboard Wednesday
causing the White House to close the federal government on
Thursday. It worked out great. No one came to work in Washington
yesterday and by the next morning the budget was balanced.
U.S. Treasury Secretary John Snow said Wednesday that Saudi
Arabia is a strong partner in the war on terrorism. It's hard to
argue. Ever since fifteen of them attacked New York, you can't
help but be impressed by their slow but steady progress.
General Wesley Clark announced for president Tuesday in
Little Rock with the backing of Senator Hillary Clinton. The poor
guy has no idea that he's her vice president. Every October,
tourists drive though Arkansas to watch the Clintons turn.
Bill Clinton spoke in Monterey Tuesday and left the door
open on the chances his wife might run for president next year.
It's an instinctive trait. He always leaves the door open,
otherwise it creaks when he comes in at three in the morning.
Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry flew to
California Wednesday to campaign at an event in support of
embattled Governor Gray Davis. The two men appeared together in
West Hollywood. It was a huge disappointment to their families.
Great white sharks were sighted near the Southern California
coast last week, causing no small alarm. Several surfers drew
bites. The Democrats insist that any leg that isn't bitten all the
way through should count as a vote for Gray Davis.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was heckled Monday by a feminist group
named Code Pink about old sexist statements. Yes, he did drugs and
slept around in the 1970s in Los Angeles. He didn't want everyone
in town to regard him as some kind of weirdo.
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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