Jewish World Review Oct. 4, 2002 / 28 Tishrei, 5763
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | New Jersey Senator Bob Torricelli quit the Senate race in tears over scandals Monday. He apologized for not having Bill Clinton's strength. Now you know why his report cards in grade school always used to read, Needs to Set His Goals Higher.
The U.S. Supreme Court might decide if New Jersey's Supreme Court can re-write election laws to help Democrats. The controversy is great for tourism. From now on, New Jersey can advertise all over the world it has the same climate as Florida.
Bill Clinton was invited by Tony Blair to address the Labor Party conference in Blackpool, England. They cheered him. He said he disagrees with President Bush on practically everything, so it's not just taxes and monogamy.
Tony Blair assured the Labor Party Tuesday he doesn't see Britain as the 51st state. His nation fears they're being dragged into war by the U.S. president. Now they know what it is like to be bossed around by an aggravating George across the pond.
President Bush softened his tone Tuesday and offered a peaceful solution if Iraq disarms. The situation could still result in bloodshed. If oil prices get any higher, Texans are going to kill themselves for ever diversifying their economy.
Al Gore attacked President Bush's economic policies Wednesday. He called for an extension in unemployment benefits to help those who have lost their jobs. He will never be able to make those house payments on what Tipper earns as a manicurist.
Enron's Andrew Fastow was taken into custody in Houston on Wednesday. He was a victim of changing times. He's charged with securities fraud, wire fraud and mail fraud which, until recently, was the standard triple minor for business majors.
Minnesota Viking star Randy Moss was charged with possession of marijuana on Tuesday. A reefer was found in his car. He swears it was just a one-paper joint, but do you realize how much pot you can fit into a copy of the Minneapolis Star-Tribune?