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Jewish World ReviewOct. 1, 2002 / 25 Tishrei, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports


And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | U.S. Congressman Jim McDermott flew to Iraq Sunday on a peace mission. He went on world television and accused the White House of provoking an unjust war. If Jim McDermott had been any more passionate, Ted Turner would be paying him alimony.

The U.S. proposed a U.N. resolution giving Iraq seven days to agree to inspections and twenty-three days to disclose all weapons. It could work. Saddam Hussein might agree to the resolution if the U.N. agrees to hire Arthur Andersen to count the days.

Senate Minority Leader Trent Lott leaped to President Bush's defense when his word was questioned by Democrats Sunday. They should question his manners. Sure, President Bush kept his promise to cut taxes, but it's not nice to show up your father in front of everybody.

Sen. John McCain said Friday he can't foresee running for the White House again. Running for high office made him a wiser man. He said you've got to be half-nuts to want to be president, which means that Jesse Ventura is overqualified.

Elvis Presley's home in Palm Springs just went on the market for $2 million. The house is a gamble. The entire property is only worth half-a-million, but the medicine chest may contain prescription Quaaludes more rare than a Honus Wagner baseball card.



JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton