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Jewish World Review April 1, 2003 / 28 Adar II, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The Anaheim Angels hosted the Texas Rangers Sunday to begin the season. This year, TV will mike the managers for live interviews. Next they will have Peter Jennings in the dugout asking the manager every half-inning why he hasn't won yet.

Tiger Woods threw up ten times on the golf course during the final round at Bay Hill last week. He won by ten strokes. Now Phil Mickelson, before each shot, wets his forefinger, holds it up to check the wind, then sticks it down his throat.

Saddam Hussein was shown on Baghdad television meeting with his cabinet this morning. They declared they are winning the war and will drive the Anglo-Saxon invaders into the sea. Everyone enjoys having their legs pulled on April Fool's Day.

British Royal Marines entered the southern Iraqi city of Basra Saturday and destroyed two statues of Saddam Hussein in the town square. How paranoid is the dictator? One was a statue of Saddam and another was a statue of one of his doubles.

Prince Charles was released from a London hospital Saturday after undergoing successful surgery for a hernia. It's an old war injury. Whenever it's about to rain, he could just kick himself for carrying Princess Diana across the threshold.

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