Jewish World Review Jan. 3, 2003 / 29 Teves, 5763
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The Statue of Liberty reportedly suffered a major drop in the number of tourists this past month. There's a good reason. After a one-hour tour of Liberty Island, Americans really don't like being told by Homeland Security agents that they are free to go.
Clonaid claimed last week they just cloned a human being for the first time in history. Reaction was swift. The pope denounced cloning, President Bush vowed to outlaw cloning and George Steinbrenner offered the Boston Red Sox $10 million for the rights to Ted Williams in the re-entry draft.
President Bush sent his parents, his brother, and his daughters on a Disney cruise Thursday and on Sunday they returned safely. Nobody got sick the entire voyage. You don't last long in politics without a strong stomach and a can of Lysol.
Congressman Charles Rangel of Harlem said Sunday he will introduce a bill in Congress to bring back the military draft. How could a Democrat favor such a thing? It's going to kill Chelsea Clinton's social life at Oxford when her father moves in with her.
Germany ended its opposition to any U.N. Security Council- approved war on Iraq Sunday. They felt opposition might affect their world status. If Germany starts opposing warfare, they could lose their position as the star of the history channel.
The Pentagon sent 25,000 ground troops to the Persian Gulf Friday. It didn't take long to train them. Most of these soldiers are just a year or two out of high school, so they have plenty of experience operating under live-fire conditions.
U.S. troops in Afghanistan were served turkey and sparkling grape juice for Christmas dinner. They aren't allowed to drink alcohol. If President Bush really wants to find Osama bin Laden, he will drop the $25 million reward and put up a case of Coors.
Congressman Charlie Rangel will introduce a bill to bring back the military draft. He believes in shared sacrifice. It's asking a lot to expect today's college kids to interrupt their studies and occupy countries that don't allow beer.
Kentucky was forced to parole convicts Friday because the state can't afford to feed them. It's a major mess. There are currently four million Americans on probation or parole, or as the Dallas Cowboys call it, the Injured Reserve List.
Michael Jackson sent out an international message of Christmas greetings and announced that he is setting up a new charity. He said it doesn't have a name yet but it will help kids that are less fortunate. Would those be the ones he drops?
The Customs Service said Monday it seized 28,000 pounds of cocaine this year at the Mexican border compared to 16,000 pounds the year before. That's the good news. The bad news is Betty Ford has had to open a whole new wing just for the dogs.
The FBI issued a bulletin Sunday to watch for five suspected Arab terrorists who are believed to have entered the country illegally last week. These guys are diabolically clever. They avoided detection by not traveling inside checked baggage.
Hillary Clinton leads all Democratic presidential candidates by a big margin in the polls. She's not an unknown commodity. If Hillary Clinton got elected president, her inauguration would be held on the first really good hair day of 2005.