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Jewish World Review May 31, 2002 / 20 Sivan, 5762

Argus Hamilton

Hamilton
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Consumer Reports


And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The National Spelling Bee began Wednesday in Washington with kids competing for a $12,000 first prize. The judging was controversial. On the first day, half the children got eliminated when they were asked to spell the word ineptitude and they responded F-B-I.

FBI Director Bob Mueller admitted Tuesday they missed clues to the September 11th plot. That's not news to anybody. The latest revelations leave the FBI so naked and exposed that John Ashcroft just busted their Internet site for indecency.

President Bush signed into law Tuesday a bill renaming the Veterans Cemetery chapel in Los Angeles after Bob Hope. The man is a legend. The first time he ever performed for U.S. servicemen he was so funny that Benedict Arnold changed sides.

German security officials said Monday Osama bin Laden is likely still alive. Americans aren't so sure. Experience tells us that an ego of that size could not possibly have allowed Liza Minnelli to monopolize all the camera time for the past four months.

Libya offered $10 million to each family of victims on Pan Am Flight 103 that blew up in 1988. The offer came from Moammar Khadaffi, and his two brothers Larry Mar and Curly Mar. Who else but stooges would try to hide from missiles in a tent?



JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton