Jewish World Review May 2, 2002 / 20 Iyar, 5762
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | President Bush sank in the polls Tuesday in his job approval rating. No one doubts his character. It's just that we wind up with a higher stock market and clearer Mideast policy when we elect our presidents for their entertainment value.
Barbie inventor Ruth Handler died Saturday at the age of 85 in Century City. She has achieved immortality. The creator of Barbie may have died, but thanks to Clairol, liposuction, breast implants, collagen and botox, her creation lives on.
The New York Friar's Club did a tribute to the late Milton Berle Monday. His estate includes the huge joke file he compiled during his 90-year career. It's the most number of jokes stored in one place since the NASDAQ was at five thousand.
The Federal Aviation Administration released an official list Tuesday of what can and cannot be taken on a commercial airliner. The rules say no ski poles, no golf clubs, and no hockey sticks. Michael Skakel can just consider himself grounded.
Darryl Strawberry was sentenced Monday to eighteen months in prison over his numerous drug arrests. He violated probation six times before finally being sent to prison. Until now nobody knew that his probation officer is Cardinal Bernard Law.
The Senate heard testimony Tuesday from oil executives who insisted they did not scheme to reduce gas supplies and raise prices. It's not necessary. The new Mercedes Benz SUV is so mammoth that the cup holder is an Englishman named Reginald.
AOL Time Warner told investors Tuesday that $54 billion on its balance sheet was a total loss. They described it as a goodwill write-off. It's believed to be by far the largest bundle of old clothes ever dropped off at one collection site.
Israel defied the U.N. Tuesday by blocking a probe into civilian deaths at the Jenin refugee camp. Israel was careful not to use tear gas, storm the compound or endanger children. No one's going to accuse them of running for governor of Florida.
President Bush raised millions for the California GOP at a dinner in Silicon Valley on Tuesday night. Everybody at the banquet dined on free-range chicken. It was just a coincidence that Yasser Arafat was released from confinement that day.
President Bush addressed a congregation in South Central Los Angeles Tuesday and discussed the 1992 riots. The audience nodded in agreement when he said it will never happen again. Those new TV sets are way too heavy to carry at full speed.
Britain's High Court upheld the ban on Louis Farrakhan from entering England. The guy didn't intend to stay. He was just hired by Jean-Marie Le Pen to get out the vote and he merely wanted to freshen up at Heathrow Airport on the way to Paris.
San Diego girls were kicked out of a high school dance on Friday for wearing thong underwear. They were inspected at the door. Teachers are tired of having their Democratic presidents impeached after they work so hard to get them elected.