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Jewish World Review April 22, 2002 / 11 Iyar, 5762

Argus Hamilton

Hamilton
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Consumer Reports


And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Murder By Numbers starring Sandra Bullock was released nationwide Friday. It's about a killer's compulsion to commit the perfect murder in Los Angeles, and it's receiving rave reviews. Robert Blake calls it the Feel Good Movie of the Year.

Los Angeles is basking in the glow of a new celebrity murder trial. The town was fed up with its lack of camera time since September 11th. When there was no race riot after the black police chief was fired last week, we had to go to Plan B.

The Senate refused Thursday to require better SUV mileage in the energy bill and at the same time they banned drilling in Alaska. No wonder our nation has an energy problem. All the oil is in the Middle East and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

Darryl Strawberry admitted Friday he violated probation in drug rehab and is willing to pay the consequences. One day he's in, one day he's out, and the next day he's back in. Everyone agrees he has what it takes to be president of Venezuela.

King Mohammad Zahir Shah arrived in Kabul Thursday to a sparse crowd. He is not the head of any government. Being the king of Afghanistan is like being the owner of a cemetery--you've got a lot of people under you, but nobody's listening.

Al Gore will give a speech in Nashville on the environment today, which just happens to be Earth Day. He's learned a lot since the 2000 election. His resume now lists him as a journalist, a Congressman, a Senator, and Bill Clinton's lookout.



JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton