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Jewish World Review Feb. 12, 2003 / 10 Adar I, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show got underway at Madison Square Garden Monday. The dogs are judged for gait, posture, color and breeding as they trot around the arena. The format is so popular it may replace the New Hampshire Primary.

The Dallas Cowboys asked Emmitt Smith to accept a back-up role with the team next year. He's rushed for an NFL career record sixteen thousand yards. It just shows how much ground you can gain when you don't care what France and Germany think.

Saddam Hussein caved in to U.N. inspectors Monday and agreed to allow U-2 spy planes to fly over Iraq. He swore he would never leave the country. Nevertheless, he sent his shirts out to be cleaned Monday and the laundry demanded cash up front.

A U.S. Senate office building was evacuated on Sunday after workers smelled smoke. It would never have been evacuated if it had been on a weekday and the senators were there. Generally speaking, where there's smoke, there's tobacco money.

The Wall Street Journal on Monday blamed high gasoline prices on Venezuelan instability and war jitters in the market. How expensive has gasoline gotten? Elizabeth Taylor introduced a new fragrance for Valentine's Day called High Octane.

The Transportation Security Agency said there's currently no technology that can check passengers for plastic explosives. Thank goodness. If plastic set off alarms in airports, Los Angeles women would have to learn how to drive to Las Vegas.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton