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Jewish World Review July 8, 2003 / 8 Tamuz, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Arnold Schwarzenegger rose in the polls Tuesday for California governor. This guy isn't scared by reports of a forty- billion-dollar deficit. Studio accountants tell that to the profit participants on every picture and it hasn't been true yet.

The Texas legislature was called back to implement Tom DeLay's congressional reapportionment plan to help insure that Republicans don't lose the House. Losing the house is not that uncommon in Los Angeles. It's the price of getting a younger wife.

Congress is drafting a bill allowing foreign women to obtain background checks on American men who offer to marry them over the Internet. How humiliating. There was a time on this planet when women jumped at the chance to become Mrs. Tony Curtis.

The U.S. Embassy in Mexico City was the target of two bottles filled with gasoline Sunday. It's because we own half the world's oil supply. Frank Sinatra always said that once he had the money to buy anything he wanted, people gave him everything for free.

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Congress sent its Medicare reform bill to conference last week. No one likes it, but everyone wants it, and no one wants to pay for it. Right now, Americans can't imagine how our lives could be any more frustrating and complex, but Congress can.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton