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Jewish World Review Sept. 18, 2003 / 21 Elul, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The Los Angeles City Council voted on Monday to require nude dancers to stay six feet away from customers. There's a lesson here. Never try to understand a town that cracks down on sex the same day it names a grade school after Bill Clinton.

The U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals halted California's recall election Monday over touch screen voting. It isn't for everyone. Iraq tried it last week and everyone voted for Saddam Hussein and for Chemical Ali because they thought it gave them Blackjack.

John Edwards announced for president Tuesday in North Carolina. He's a trial lawyer and a politician. He stood in front of the textile mill that employed his dad for many years to show that someone in his family has done an honest day's work.

Senator Dianne Feinstein endorsed John Kerry for U.S. president Thursday. Last week she endorsed Gray Davis as governor of California. Next week she plans to endorse Udey Hussein as leader of Iraq to cement her reputation for picking winners.

The State Department reduced loan guarantees to Israel Tuesday for expanding West Bank settlements. And these are our friends in the region. In honor of the Jewish New Year starting next week, Colin Powell will go to Israel and uproot a tree.

Homeland Security said Tuesday it will arrest illegal aliens ordered deported rather than let them go free while they appeal. The policy is being tested in Connecticut. Maybe this will stop the number of snow backs coming over from Vermont.

California election officials warned Tuesday there won't be enough space on the primary ballot in March for ten candidates for president and one hundred thirty-five candidates for governor. Many of them fit the medical definition of delusional, which in California is anyone who puts out a dictionary at a garage sale.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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01/02/03:Annual Review of the Past Year's Mischief
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton