Jewish World Review August 16, 2002 / 8 Elul, 5762
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Al Gore was spotted at the Regency Hotel in New York last week. He likes indoor vacations. Last summer, when he fell off a horse and got his foot caught in the stirrups, the manager of the Wal-Mart had to come out and shut off the electricity.
Ted Williams' son and daughter sued each other over the slugger's autographed bats on Monday. They're also quarreling over whether he should be cremated or frozen for future use. The question is, after you have seen Ted Williams' children, who would want his DNA?
Victoria's Secret was sued by the government Tuesday for refusing to allow a Baptist saleswoman take Sundays off. She belongs to a special sect of Baptists. They believe that Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night.
U.S. Airways filed for bankruptcy protection Sunday and sought wage reductions from unions. It's a huge mess. With five hundred pilots fired at once, it may require an Act of Congress to relieve the overcrowding at the Betty Ford Center.
Louisiana and Mississippi declared a state of emergency due to the spread of West Nile Virus. It's another stirring victory for Homeland Security. We grounded all the crop dusters last September and now we're all going to die of mosquito bites.
The Weather Channel reported half the United States is in a drought, plus fires in Oregon, West Nile Virus in the South and record heat in New England. It's our own fault. We've got to stop letting those al-Qaeda prisoners pray three times a day.
Arizona and Nevada voters face a ballot measure in November to decriminalize marijuana use. Backers delivered three times the number of signatures needed. Not every part of the country got the same message when President Bush said Let's Roll.
President Bush was confronted Wednesday with a rising tide of opposition to a war with Iraq. There are signs that an attack is imminent. Martha Stewart is rumored to have visited Baghdad last week and, as always, she got out just in time.
Mexico's President Vicente Fox may cancel his Texas trip because the state executed a Mexican citizen. It's not the only reason. He headed Coca-Cola in Mexico, and no corporate executive should risk a visit to the United States in today's climate.
Israel claims Yasser Arafat stashed $1.3 billion of international aid in his personal accounts. What good news. It's a sign they're becoming a democracy when the president is smeared by the opposition with charges of accounting irregularities.
The State Department Wednesday banned smoking at the entrances to the Harry Truman Building. It's only right. Heaven forbid that the name of Harry Truman, the legacy of Harry Truman, or the deeds of Harry Truman be associated with smoke.