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Jewish World Review May 19, 2003 / 16 Iyar, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Annika Sorenstam arrived in Fort Worth to play in the PGA Colonial Open this week. It's billed as an historic breakthrough. Somehow you knew if there was ever going to be a Jackie Robinson on the men's golf tour, it would be a Swedish blonde.

Jerry Ford is fine after suffering dizzy spells on the golf course in Rancho Mirage Friday. It wasn't the desert heat. He fainted out of sheer joy when the pro told him he could take ten strokes off his score just by skipping the last hole.

Jack Kennedy took narcotics in the White House and slept with a young intern, writes Robert Dallek in An Unfinished Life. It calls JFK's judgment into serious question. Only a guy who was out of his mind on drugs would cheat on Marilyn Monroe.

Jack Kennedy took narcotics in the White House according to historian Robert Dallek's new book, An Unfinished Life. He also had an affair with a teenaged intern. It's safe to say that Dan Quayle has compared himself to Jack Kennedy for the last time.

Saddam Hussein released an audiotape to the Iraqi people last week while on the run. He sounded miserable. Who's going to go out with you in this day and age when you were rumored to be more than just friends with a woman named Dr. Germ? Judy Woodruff's Inside Politics last month profiled U.S. Congressmen who share apartments in the nation's capital due to the acute housing shortage. Washington is one of the hardest places in the world to find a place to live. Ask any Democrat. President Bush meets Dominican Republic president Hipolito Mejia at the White House Tuesday. It's a valued relationship. Last year, our two countries did $8.6 billion in trade and it's only going to grow until there's a salary cap in baseball. U.S. soldiers were fired on by looters in the Iraqi town of Mosul Thursday and the soldiers shot back at the looters. Some of the reservists were moved to tears. It was as close to a Los Angeles Lakers championship as anybody would get this year.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton