Jewish World Review April 2, 2003 / 29 Adar II, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
Saddam Hussein looked pale and tired in a new videotape
released on Baghdad television Monday. It prompted a lot of
medical speculation. The White House has concluded that Saddam
Hussein suffers from an acute lack of B-52 in his daily diet.
Don Rumsfeld told interviewers Sunday he has heard that
relatives of Saddam Hussein are fleeing Iraq. It's nothing new.
Houseguests were also a problem at the Kennedy compound in Palm
Beach until Uncle Teddy started getting bombed every night.
Geraldo Rivera was kicked out of covering the 101st Airborne
in Iraq Monday. Sources say he told viewers about an attack two
hours before it took place. If he had applied this skill in Los
Angeles, Nicole Brown Simpson would be alive today.
The Pentagon commandeered passenger planes from major U.S.
airlines Monday to ferry troops from the U.S. to the Mideast. It
really gets soldiers in the right frame of mind. After thirteen
hours of airline food, anyone would be ready to kill.
The San Diego Chargers threatened to leave San Diego and
move to Los Angeles in two years. It wouldn't be any big deal for
the veteran players. Two or three concussions and they will sound
like they have lived in Los Angeles all their lives.
Dallas Cowboy legend Emmitt Smith signed with the Arizona
Cardinals. There's no TV exposure in Phoenix and no one pays
attention to the team in Phoenix. It's the right move for Emmitt
Smith only if his testimony helps to convict Tony Soprano.
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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