Jewish World Review Jan. 10, 2003 / 7 Shevat, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
The U.S. government was sued by nine Northeastern states
Wednesday for relaxing air quality standards and causing global
pollution. In Japan, vending machines allow people to buy bags of
air. Here we elect them and then big business buys them.
New Jersey will sue the NFL for lost revenues over a missed
call in Sunday's game, which eliminated the Giants from the
playoffs. A lawsuit is the only way that New Jersey can get its
money back. The Sopranos are on hiatus until October.
California officials admitted Wednesday they completely lost
track of 34,000 sex offenders. However, there are 70,000 sex
offenders living in the state who are registered. They are listed
in the Los Angeles Yellow Pages under Casting Directors.
Democrats screamed Wednesday after President Bush re-
nominated Judge Charles Pickering to the U.S. Court of Appeals. He
testified against Ku Klux Klansmen in 1967. Democrats say this
proves that at one time, he was in the same room with them.
President Bush signed an extension of unemployment benefits.
He said he will help everyone find a job and he proposed a plan to
help the economy. This week's presidential vaccination is designed
to ward off the bug that did in his dad.
Great Britain quietly began lobbying the White House to
delay attacking Iraq until autumn. It's a logistical problem. The
more troops we fly into the region, the longer it's going to take
to get all those machine guns through airport security.
U.N. inspectors in Iraq said Tuesday they have been totally
unable to find any evidence of weapons of mass destruction.
They're not cut out for this kind of work. Normally, they spend
five minutes searching and then they buy a new golf ball.
Saddam Hussein said through a spokesman Wednesday he won't
go into exile but will fight to the bloody end. He's finally met
his match. This time Saddam Hussein is up against a Defense
Secretary who wears a bracelet inscribed What Would Nixon Do?
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements,
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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