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Jewish World Review April 30, 2003 / 28 Nisan, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The London Guardian found documents showing Paris fed intelligence to Baghdad before the war. Iraq got diplomatic secrets and military guidance from France. Who else could have taught the Iraqis how to lose their entire country in two weeks.

Frank Sinatra's valet George Jacobs wrote in Playboy he watched Jack Kennedy party with hookers, cocaine and pills. It explains why Democrats didn't want to invade Iraq. They had reason to believe that Udey Hussein was the next Jack Kennedy.

U.S. troops arrested a self-proclaimed Mayor of Baghdad Monday who was messing up everything. It's our own fault. If our finer universities still offered degrees in Colonial Administration, Baghdad would be known by now as The City that Works.

North Korea on Monday offered to give up its nuclear weapons facilities and its missile factories in exchange for economic help. Are they insane? Nuclear blackmail won't work as long as Americans are this focused on the Laci Peterson case.

Hillary Clinton finished the manuscript of her memoirs Monday and gave it to her publishers. It tells how she loved to play church league softball as a girl. When she was in the seventh grade, she led the league in crooked real estate deals.

Hillary Clinton addressed a Democratic dinner in Connecticut Monday. It made everybody suspect her of joining the race. The last time Hillary Clinton ran for the Oval Office it was because she heard a lot of squealing and giggling inside.

Democratic presidential candidate Howard Dean told New Hampshire Monday that America won't always have the strongest military so we must start being nicer to other countries. What a tragic loss. It's the earliest political suicide in a presidential campaign since Gary Hart decided that one snapshot can't hurt anything.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton