Jewish World Review March 5, 2003 / 1 Adar II, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
Tiger Woods canceled his appearance in the Dubai Desert
Classic Thursday. He knows his limitations. The State Department
just warned all golfers who don't like loud noises on their
backswings to stay away from the Persian Gulf this weekend.
The America's Cup headquarters in New Zealand received an
envelope containing anthrax last week. Yacht racing is a favorite
extravagance of the rich. If Democrats had their way, the
America's Cup would begin twelve miles upstream from Niagara Falls.
Robert Blake's hearing Monday centered on his alleged hit
man's credibility. The guy told three different stories to three
people about what the actor asked him to do. In Hollywood, a hit
man with Attention Deficit Disorder will always work.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar joined CBS Sports to cover NCAA
basketball. Years ago, he played an airline pilot in the movie
Airplane. In today's climate the entire theater would race for the
exits the moment anybody named Kareem Abdul-Jabbar entered the cockpit.
The Washington Times reported Monday that al-Qaeda has been
planning a major attack on Pearl Harbor. According to U.S.
intelligence reports, the terrorists like the symbolism of the
act. They have always wanted to die in a mushroom souffle.
North Korea intercepted a U.S. reconnaissance plane Monday
over the Sea of Japan. Response was swift. Within ten minutes, an
American diplomat was sent to Cameroon with a sack of cash to
purchase their vote for a U.N. resolution against North Korea.
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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