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Jewish World Review Feb. 28, 2003 / 26 Adar I, 5763

Argus Hamilton

Hamilton
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Consumer Reports


And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Connecticut authorities are investigating a fire at a Hartford nursing home Tuesday night. Hundreds fled the building to escape the blaze. That's how hard it is for heavy metal bands to get booked nowadays, they're playing nursing homes.

Sheri's Ranch brothel in Nevada announced a big building expansion Wednesday, prompting the legislature to threaten to tax brothels. The state has no choice. These are the only small businesses left standing after Wal-Mart rolls through town.

USA Today ran a story Wednesday on the obesity crisis in the United States. It said most baby boomers lack the personal discipline to stick to a diet. One guy went on the Thirty Day Diet this month and so far he has lost over fifteen days.

Robert Blake gave a blockbuster interview to Barbara Walters on ABC's 20/20. It was great television. Barbara Walters said later she didn't feel threatened at all during the interview, which only proves she wasn't reading Diane Sawyer's mind.

Saddam Hussein told Dan Rather he would never seek asylum elsewhere if Iraq is attacked. He vowed that he would stand and fight and die for his country. What the French think they have in common with Saddam Hussein is the real mystery.

Saddam Hussein used his CBS interview to try to persuade the American people he's a peace-loving leader. At one point he left the interview to attend evening prayers. He will never make it in American politics if he goes off-camera to pray.

The Weather Channel reported a cold wave swept through the Southwest causing snowstorms and iced-over roads. No one was spared. It was so cold in Dallas that three Congressmen were seen on the local news with their hands in their own pockets.

Gods and Generals released in movie theaters Friday gives a positive view of the Confederate Cause. However, the movie is a bit fictionalized. When Robert E. Lee was a plebe at West Point his classmates did not vote him Most Likely to Secede.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton