Jewish World Review Dec. 3, 2002 / 28 Kislev, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and Jimmy Johnson shook
hands Sunday, ending their eight-year-long feud. It was easier
than anybody thought. As soon as Henry Kissinger promised to help
each of them build a nuclear reactor, they had a deal.
President Bush canceled federal pay raises Friday, declaring
that the United States is in a state of emergency. It's widely
believed that terrorists have the means to destroy any downtown in
America. Right now they're in a race with Wal-Mart.
President Bush in his Saturday radio address asked Americans
to help make the holidays a true season of service for those in
need. Things are bad out there. Just yesterday, everybody aboard a
United flight to Chicago had to chip in for gas.
The White House named Tom Ridge to head the Homeland
Security Department last week in Washington. Now they're looking
for a headquarters building. According to federal workplace safety
rules, there must be a yellow line down the middle of the hallway
so the bureaucrats arriving late don't crash into those who are
leaving early.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements,
please click here.
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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