Jewish World Review May 10, 2002 / 28 Iyar, 5762
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Jimmy Carter will make a live, televised speech to the Cuban people Tuesday. He won't be paid. Considering the subsidy Congress gave to peanut farmers this week, he doesn't need to charge money for his speeches like the other presidents do.
Donald Rumsfeld canceled the Army Crusader cannon on Tuesday. It passed its field test with flying colors. This week Congress took the prototype, stuffed it full of tax dollars, and delivered a salvo that American farmers will never forget.
Wisconsin junior Luke Helder admitted setting pipe bombs in mailboxes across the Midwest. American college students make crummy terrorists. FBI agents simply followed a trail of empty beer cans across Interstate 80 right up to his motel door.
Homeland Security officials Wednesday showed reporters the Threat Monitoring Center. It's where they monitor threats against the nation. They believe eternal vigilance is the price of keeping Hillary Clinton out of the 2004 presidential race.
The Nativity Church standoff got sticky Wednesday when plans to exile 13 PLO terrorists hit a snag. Officials say no other country would take them in. Under the Bush Doctrine, if you harbor a terrorist, you're Don Rumsfeld's next applause line.
President Bush said he's disappointed in Yasser Arafat's actions and pleased with Yasser Arafat's statements. He urged Ariel Sharon to cease fire and praised Ariel Sharon as a man of peace. Republicans are so relieved that he's back on message.
President Bush took his Leave No Child Behind education tour to Wisconsin on Wednesday. He told a grade school class that if they want to be successful in life, they should turn down drugs and alcohol and read more books. Either that or learn to raise $100 million in the four months before the New Hampshire Primary.
Mexico issued an arrest warrant for the president of the state oil company Pemex. There's graft between the oil company and administration officials. Cinco de Mayo celebrates the day Mexico changed over to the American system of government.