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Jewish World Review May 29, 2002 / 18 Sivan, 5762

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Iraq claimed Monday it took control of an unmanned U.S. spy plane and forced it down. The Pentagon insists none of our Predators are missing. Woody Allen and Roman Polanski were present and accounted for at the Cannes Film Festival this week.

Dick Cheney addressed Naval Academy graduates last week. He told cadets they will be fighting a new kind of war against a new kind of enemy, but it will save an untold number of lives. The president has ordered the sinking of FBI headquarters.

Tom DeLay tried Sunday to blame FBI shortsightedness on Bill Clinton. That's not fair. He always read the daily intelligence reports closely, and everything that came across his desk was labeled either Secret, Top Secret or Victoria's Secret.

The Hubble telescope sent back more pictures from the edge of the universe. They confirm new theories about quantum mechanics and natural law. Physicists now insist the three things that are infinite are space, time and the NBA playoffs.

Tropical Storm Alma is picking up speed in the Pacific off the west coast of Mexico. Forecasters warned the storm could turn into a hurricane strong enough to knock down buildings. The INS just issued Alma a student visa for flight training.

NBC News said Bill Clinton spent all weekend at the Sultan of Brunei's palace where the sultan maintains one wing just to house beauty pageant winners. That answered my question. And how did your favorite former president observe Memorial Day?



JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton