Jewish World Review Nov. 18, 2002 / 13 Kislev, 5763
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Bill Clinton made the ESPN highlights Friday while playing in a golf tournament in Orange County. He was down there anyway. He's been doing a little research at the Nixon Library on how to come back as a beloved elder statesman against all odds.
Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted Friday that he smoked marijuana in the 1970s. It's his first step toward becoming governor. Nobody can be elected anything in California until they can prove that their drug problem is all in the past.
Princess Diana's butler flew to New York Monday to do TV interviews on Royal Family sex scandals. A book deal is also in the works. Bill Clinton's publishers paid a fortune for his memoir and at this point they could care less who writes it.
Al Gore and his wife Tipper are promoting their book called The Spirit of Family. It's about having dinner and quality time together. Al Gore's former butler tried to sell a story to the London Daily Mirror and he was laughed out of the pitch meeting.
China's new leader Hu Jintao drew cheers at his speech at Beijing University on Friday. They say the campus atmosphere in China is like America's was in the 1960s, which is very bad news. The last thing a country with a billion people needs is a Free Love Movement.
Spider-Man's creator Stan Lee is suing Marvel Comics for his agreed share of the movie profits. It has grossed $400 million but Marvel says they have yet to turn a profit. The movie's closing credits list Special Effects by Arthur Andersen.
Congress decided on Thursday to postpone any action on the Energy Bill. They can write a better bill next year. There's no sense in subsidizing hybrid cars when we're about to seize a country with fifty percent of the world's oil reserves.
Congressman J.C. Watts retired from Congress Thursday. He's so needed now. As a former OU wishbone quarterback, he's the only Republican who would know when to hand-off to North Korea, pitchout to Iran or run it into Baghdad for six big ones.
The New York Times said the Pentagon has planned for a possible invasion of Iraq in February. The timing is critical. Everyone knows it has to be after the Super Bowl and before Spring Training if you want to have the president's full attention.
Congress is debating a Homeland Security bill that would create one big security agency with a supercomputer that watches everyone. It's bewildering. We simply can't imagine how our lives could be any more frustrating and complex, but Congress can.
Nancy Pelosi was elected House Minority Leader Thursday and Al Gore proposed universal health care. It's crazy. Democrats are moving left so fast that by the time 2004 rolls around, Al Sharpton could be the candidate of the Angry White Male.
Boston officials welcomed the 2004 Democratic Convention on Tuesday and said it would showcase the city's mix and diversity. They can point to many successes on that front. They found a tape of a 1984 Cheers episode where Sam serves Diane a Black Russian.