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Jewish World Review Sept. 25, 2002 / 19 Tishrei, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports


And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Madelyne Toogood pleaded not guilty to child abuse on Monday in Indiana. She was caught on a video seen by the entire nation beating her daughter in a parking lot. On the bright side, the search for a new police chief in Los Angeles may be over.

Governor Gray Davis signed a bill Monday granting employees full pay to stay at home with a sick family member. It's come to this. Democrats feel it's unfair for Californians to have to sit home sick by themselves and roll their own medicine.

The Continuity of Government Commission held its first meeting Monday inside the U.S. Capitol in Washington D.C. The commission discussed emergency plans to keep Congress functioning in the event of a terrorist attack. So far they have agreed to sign up for direct deposit so the pay raises will continue uninterrupted.

Al Gore on Monday ripped the president for not going through the U.N. before attacking Iraq. His timing was no accident. You know it's fashion week in New York when Al Gore says the well- dressed Alpha males this year are wearing an aqua helmet.

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg made a surprise trip to Afghanistan Monday. Hopefully he didn't say a word while there. This is a proud and ancient culture we've just conquered and it's way too early to start banning smoking in restaurants.

Reno, Nevada, witnessed an armed government seizure of two hundred and twenty-seven head of cattle on Monday. The cows were grazing illegally on public land. The U.S. had to move quickly because in six more weeks, grass will be legal in Nevada.



JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton