Jewish World Review July 30, 2002 /21 Menachem-Av, 5762
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Lance Armstrong bicycled into Paris in triumph Sunday after the twenty-first and final leg of the Tour de France. He was being sponsored by the United States Postal Service. No wonder it took him three weeks to get where he was going.
The Rolling Stones will launch their final American tour in September in New York City. Their first tour was forty years ago. This year, their fans will still be bringing them drugs backstage, except now there is a twenty-five dollar co-pay.
Pennsylvania cheered early Sunday when nine trapped miners were rescued from death by pumping hot air into the chamber. The idea was somewhat experimental. To see if it works a second time, they're going to seat Ted Williams in the Senate gallery.
Attorney F. Lee Bailey announced he in enrolling in South Florida University to get an MBA. He said it would help him in his business consulting firm. Think about it, what CEO right now couldn't use the services of the man who got O.J. Simpson off?
President Bush sparred with Senate Democrats Saturday over Homeland Security provisions. They worked out a trade over racial profiling. For every Arab that gets questioned at the airport, one white guy must turn over his accounting records.
American Nazis held a retreat in rural Pennsylvania over the weekend to help try to recruit new members to join Aryan Nations. Their folklore is completely cut off from reality. For starters, Santa Claus does not have a reindeer named Adolf.
Great Britain withdrew peacekeepers from Sierra Leone Sunday after halting a civil war in which tribesmen had been hacking off each other's arms. Happily, democracy has been restored. The new president was just elected by a show of hands.
The National Guard was called in to help Oregon firefighters battle a blaze along the Columbia River. You've got to admit that America has the most romantic summers. For the last two months, any time a couple has wanted to curl up in front of a nice, roaring fire, all they had to do was turn on the news.
Bill Clinton told friends Saturday that he might host a talk show to protect his legacy and defend his record against partisan news channels. He's got a point. Every time a rape whistle sounds in New York, Fox News chases him down for a comment.