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Jewish World Review Sept. 25, 2003 / 28 Elul, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The Dixie Chicks said Tuesday they are no longer a country western group and consider themselves a rock band. It's about appearances. Beer goes straight to your thighs once you hit your mid-thirties while cocaine is nothing if not slimming.

Nashville songwriters told Congress on Tuesday that Internet downloaders are stealing their music. They've taken a terrible financial hit. For the first time in decades, Willie Nelson actually doesn't owe the federal government any income tax.

The California recall election was ordered held October 7th by a U.S. Court of Appeals Tuesday. Time was running out. It didn't matter to the clowns and the trapeze artists but the elephants have to be back in Sarasota before the first frost.

The Detroit Tigers this week are approaching the all-time record for the most number of losses in a season. It's abysmal. The Detroit Tigers have suffered so many losses their team photo is on the cover of the government's annual jobs report.

President Bush gave a speech to the U.N. General Assembly Tuesday. He prepared perfectly. The day before he addressed the delegates, he visited the backwoods of Virginia and received a briefing from preachers who work with snakes all the time.

New Hampshire endured protests Sunday calling for the ouster of two Catholic bishops who shielded predator priests. Priests are expected to guide lives in a positive way and live lives of celibacy. It's why the Kennedys went into politics.

Teddy Kennedy called the Iraq war a fraud cooked up in Texas and accused the White House of bribing allies. It sounds like he's raring for a fight. Until now, no one's ever had to deal with a Kennedy eager for action but past his sexual prime.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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01/02/03:Annual Review of the Past Year's Mischief
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton