Jewish World Review Nov. 21, 2002 / 16 Kislev, 5763
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Michael Jackson horrified German onlookers by dangling a baby over his hotel balcony railing in Berlin. He's there for a reason. Americans are so annoyed at Germany for insulting President Bush that we sent them a fruitcake for the holidays.
The U.S. Senate passed the Homeland Security bill Tuesday. Twenty-two federal agencies were combined into one department. It's the biggest re-organization of the federal government since Bill Clinton transferred the mistresses to the Pentagon.
Stuttgart University agreed to return the brain of a dead terrorist which it had kept for research. Common sense prevailed. It's waste of research dollars to build a terrorist from spare parts when another one's born in Saudi Arabia every two minutes.
Iraq told U.N. Inspector Hans Blix it has no nuclear, chemical or biological weapons. Blix urged the Iraqis to look one more time. Who didn't lose a little anthrax between the sofa cushions back when everybody was partying in the 1970s?
Defense Secretary Don Rumsfeld met with South American defense ministers in Chile. He's respected for his long years of government experience. Don Rumsfeld broke in under President Nixon, and he's the only one who didn't go to jail for it.
U.S. Rep. Jerry Nadler had stomach reduction surgery Monday. He's five-foot-four and weighs three hundred and forty pounds. He decided on the operation after he walked outside wearing a Malcolm X tee-shirt and a helicopter tried to land on him.
Tiger Woods refused Tuesday to boycott the Masters next April. His influence is measurable. The sales of Nike are surging, the sales of Buick are excellent, and demand for Swedish nannies has gone through the roof since he began dating one.