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Jewish World Review June 19, 2003 / 19 Sivan, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The Southern Baptist Convention is convening all week in Phoenix. How weird. It's the Presbyterians who are nicknamed the Frozen Chosen, so you would expect them to be the first ones to make a pilgrimage to Ted Williams' final resting place.

Heavyweight boxing champ Lennox Lewis fights Vitaly Klitschko in Los Angeles Saturday. The challenger is the son of a Soviet Union army commander. He and his little brother used to play hide the weapons of mass destruction in their back yard.

Simon & Schuster held a book party for Bill and Hillary Clinton in New York where guests enjoyed oysters on the half shell. You know what this means. Simon & Schuster was feeding Bill Clinton oysters in hope of another Hillary bestseller.

The Supreme Court held a ground-breaking ceremony before the cameras Tuesday for building renovation and expansion. When three Justices were shown shoveling dirt next to the courthouse, Democrats panicked. They thought one of them had died.

Democratic candidates tried to get in the news Monday. They proposed energy plans, tax cuts and foreign policy changes. Then Hillary went on David Letterman and by midnight the candidates were all back inside the Witness Protection Program.

Iranians held huge protests on Monday calling for regime change. Monarchy is suddenly hot. If everything breaks right for comedians, we will have the King of Iraq in Baghdad, the Shah in Teheran, and Elvis's first lady back in the White House.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton