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Jewish World Review Sept. 24, 2002 / 18 Tishrei, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports


And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Condoleezza Rice said Sunday the United States will build democracy in Iraq if we topple Saddam. It's controversial. The oil will be nice to have, but residents of Washington D.C. can't believe Iraq is going to be a state before they are.

Democratic Senator Carl Levin demanded U.N. weapons inspections in Iraq before any war is launched. His party is split. Two-thirds of the Senate Democrats agree with the idea of U.N. inspections, while the other third are up for re-election.

Kentucky Governor Paul Patton cried on television while confessing his affair with a woman who's suing him for sexual harassment. The toll is mounting. That's two governors, four congressmen, and one president since Viagra was invented in 1998.

Former GE chairman Jack Welch was ordered by his divorce judge Friday to reveal all his assets. His humiliation is growing daily. Whenever Jack Welch moves into a new house, he must notify the authorities that a former CEO has moved into the neighborhood.

The New York Mets were accused by Newsday of widespread marijuana use before and after their games. Little things gave them away. Last week in Philadelphia, the team rode from the hotel to the stadium every afternoon in a Hostess delivery truck.

Bill Clinton travels to Africa this week on a five-nation tour focusing on AIDS awareness. He's welcome in any nation in Africa. The locals instinctively know that if Tarzan and Jane had been Republicans, Cheetah would have been a coat.



JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton