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Jewish World Review August 8, 2002 /30 Menachem-Av, 5762

Argus Hamilton

Hamilton
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Consumer Reports


And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The Tennessee Titans dropped Adelphia from their stadium's name after company executives were arrested for defrauding shareholders. They want the stadium to project a more positive public image. They're changing the name to John Rocker Field.

New York Mets owner Nelson Doubleday is suing Major League Baseball. He says the commissioner conspired with an Arthur Andersen accountant to create phantom losses. Arthur Andersen could make Al Gore feel like he got a fair shake in Florida.

Tricia Cox and Julie Eisenhower were ordered by a judge to settle their dispute over a $20 million bequest to the Nixon Library. It's the usual fight among heirs. One child wants to burn through the cash and the other child wants it to remain frozen.

Queen Elizabeth announced Monday she will knight Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan. She honored him for three reasons. She appreciates his life of public service, she is grateful for his role in steadying the global economy, and chicks dig the security of T-bills.

Raleigh Airport is under fire from women who claim they were inappropriately touched by screeners. The women said it made them uncomfortable. Imagine sitting for hours in an airplane with all those dollar bills jammed into your underwear.

The National Weather Service will give secret weather forecasts to the White House to help the U.S. fight terrorism. Their predictions are usually right on the money. Just yesterday they reported that the five-day forecast for Iraq is two days.



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© 2002, Argus Hamilton