Jewish World Review March 24, 2003 / 20 Adar II, 5763
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | San Francisco and Los Angeles were snarled by war protests Friday and Chicago and New York were the scene of peace marches. Bill Clinton can't believe he didn't invade Iraq. The Free Love Movement it triggered would have spared him a lot of judgment.
President Bush declared war on Saddam Hussein Wednesday night in a televised address. The government of Iraq accused the White House of naked aggression. The communications in Baghdad are so bad they think Bill Clinton is still president.
Saddam Hussein appeared on Iraqi television Thursday looking tired and wearing thick glasses. So war could have been avoided. President Bush would have gladly accepted Saddam's challenge to a duel if he had known that his eyesight was that bad.
Saddam Hussein was bombed in his house Thursday and saw his troops surrender Friday while U.S. and British forces seized his oil fields. There was one bright side for the Iraqi dictator. He still didn't have as bad a week as the Dixie Chicks.
Defense Secretary Don Rumsfeld lashed out at reporters Friday for asking him questions he didn't like. He's known to be a bit cantankerous by nature. Every time Don Rumsfeld turns in for the night, they sound the all-clear siren in Baghdad.
Democratic presidential candidate Howard Dean soared into a tie with Senator John Kerry in the latest New Hampshire polls. It's based on his strong anti-war message. He's the first Democrat since George McGovern to be endorsed by Dove soap.
Brazil refused a U.S. request Friday to expel all Iraqi diplomats. It's due to a local rivalry. Argentina got all the good rocket scientists after World War II and Brazil is not going to let them grab all the nuclear scientists without a fight.
The Academy Awards were held last night in Hollywood. It was tense. Disaster was avoided when police arrested a young man of Middle Eastern descent trying to enter the auditorium with Eddie Murphy's last three movies strapped to his chest.
The California National Guard was mobilized Thursday to protect the Academy Awards. They had a lab that detects any chemical threats. So everyone had to give up cocaine for one evening in the spirit of shared sacrifice during wartime.
Las Vegas sports bookie Danny Sheridan says $16 billion will be bet illegally on the NCAA tournament. Everyone has an office betting pool. College basketball has become the nation's number- one game of chance, excluding weddings and elections.
War protesters blocked bridges in San Francisco Thursday and tied up traffic in New York, Chicago and Los Angeles. There was good reason for the huge turnout. Young people are sick and tired of trying to meet the right person on the Internet.
The U.S. 3rd Infantry rolled across southern Iraq on Thursday encountering little opposition. The White House can't believe its luck. It looks like U.S. troops have found the one country on the planet where people overwhelmingly support the war.
The House of Representatives voted unanimously Thursday to give benefits and payments to military personnel completely tax free. It was quite a recruiting magnet. Within twelve hours Pete Rose and Willie Nelson volunteered for active duty.
British and U.S. troops surrounded Iraqi units north of Kuwait Friday causing the enemy to surrender by the score. It was broadcast live all over the globe. Jimmy Carter couldn't contain his Inner Elvis and fired three shots into the TV set.
Appreciate this writer's work? Why not sign-up for JWR's daily update. It's free. Just click here.