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Jewish World Review May 14, 2002 / 3 Sivan, 5762

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Jimmy Carter embarked Sunday on a goodwill trip to the island of Cuba. Under their system, education is free, medical care is free, and prescription medicine is free. Picture a Congressional spending bill surrounded by barbed wire and sharks.

President Bush on Friday urged Jimmy Carter to stand up for democracy during his trip to Havana this week. He's the first U.S. president to visit Castro's Cuba. For the last year, he's been swimming two miles a day in case things don't go well.

Jimmy Carter vowed to urge human rights for Cubans. During his presidency in the 1970s, Americans were taken hostage by Iran, gouged by Arabs and threatened by Soviets. Years later it's impossible to describe how much some people hated disco.

President Kennedy tried a CIA-backed invasion in 1961 to liberate Cuba from Castro. This week Jimmy Carter will try goodwill. It's odd that Democrats love that country so much considering it's a Cuban that got Bill Clinton impeached.

United Airlines breathed easier Saturday after the Machinists and Aerospace Workers agreed to a new contract. They approved a pay raise at four o'clock in the morning. Thank goodness they adjourned before they voted to increase farm subsidies.

President Bush demanded Congress pass welfare reform with stiffer work requirements. No one should expect an endless stream of government checks for doing absolutely nothing. You have to inherit a tobacco farm to get a deal like that.

President Bush is urging Congress to spend $300 million to promote a healthy respect for marriage. He's fighting the clock. Pollsters tell him he will never get re-elected if the only people in America who want to get married are gay men.

John Ashcroft called for tighter U.S. border control Saturday. There's a novel idea. Last week, Mexico's Senate banned President Fox from a trip to the United States, making him the first Mexican in fifty years who can't get across the border.



JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton