Jewish World Review Oct. 15, 2002 / 9 Mar-Cheshvan, 5763
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | American Indians marched in Denver Saturday in protest of Columbus Day. They say he introduced conquest, genocide, venereal disease and alcoholism to the New World. And to think that today's teen-agers think they invented
Rave parties. Paula Radcliffe set a new world record in the Chicago Marathon Sunday. The men's race was won by Moroccan Khalid Khannouchi. He might have set a new world record too, but every time he ran past a skyscraper he was detained for questioning.
Swept Away starring Madonna rode a huge wave of media promotion to the worst box-office opening weekend of the year. It didn't even make the top ten. The movie was such a huge bomb that by Monday morning, al-Qaeda was claiming credit for it.
President Bush hits the campaign trail for Republicans today as Al Gore takes to the stump for Democrats. The polls are all even. House races haven't been this exciting since Johnny Carson's house beat Cher's into the ocean by two lengths.
Senate Democrats blamed President Bush Friday for higher unemployment, a low stock market, and a plunge in consumer confidence. They have only themselves to blame. If Democrats wanted Al Gore to be president, they should have voted for impeachment.
Hillary Clinton tried to stop a strike Friday at Plum Island Animal Disease Research Center in Garden City, New York. She's always been concerned about animals. She used to call her stockbroker fourteen times a day and ask how the cattle were doing.
Newsweek says al-Qaeda prisoners told investigators that the terror group has been trying to develop an exploding raincoat. Those terrorists are so clever. They know we stopped checking under raincoats the day Pee Wee Herman completed his community service.
USA Today last Wednesday reported the results of the National Health Survey, which revealed that two-thirds of all American adults are either overweight or obese. It's unbelievable. Monica Lewinsky has a legacy and Bill Clinton doesn't.