Jewish World Review August 23, 2002 / 15 Elul, 5762
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | House Democrat firebrand Cynthia McKinney and GOP flame- thrower Bob Barr were tossed out by voters Tuesday. So much for variety. If this keeps up, Congress won't be able to give us the left wing or the right wing, just the middle of the bird.
President Bush went on national TV Wednesday to state that he will consult allies before any attack on Iraq. What a relief. It gave everyone hooked on around-the-clock child kidnapping news a chance to grab something to eat or run to the restroom.
The White House is undergoing extensive remodeling while President Bush relaxes in Texas. It's hard work. So far, construction crews working with jackhammers and the Jaws of Life have been unable to pry Barbra Streisand from the Lincoln Bedroom.
Martha Stewart turned over thousands of e-mails and telephone records to a House subcommittee but much of it is completely blacked out. It's part of her alibi. When investigators ask her about the phone call from her broker, she's going to show them her Rum Punch recipe and claim that she completely blacked out.
Hillary Clinton opened her Hillpac web site Wednesday. It's designed to make it easy to charge contributions to credit cards. Hillary was the last to find out about Monica and now she's the last to still think you can make money on the Internet.
Former Enron executive Michael Kopper agreed Tuesday to plead guilty to fraud and money laundering. He's going to cooperate with prosecutors. No one wants to say the Enron executives are getting nervous, but they just paid Susan McDougal $5 million to come to Houston and conduct a loyalty seminar.
Federal prosecutors in Sacramento indicted ten people Wednesday for importing a pure form of methamphetamine from Asia nicknamed Nazi Speed. This drug is amazing. Until now it was impossible to take France and lose weight at the same time.
The New York Times reports that Bill Clinton is negotiating with CBS to host his own talk show. It's only right. With Milton Berle having just passed away, the torch is passed to a new generation of comedians who drop their pants for laughs.