Jewish World Review June 20, 2002 / 20 Tamuz, 5762
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Jesse Ventura announced Tuesday he will not seek re-election for governor of Minnesota. It's easy to see why. With Scooby-Doo and Spider-Man burning up the box office, no self-respecting cartoon character needs to settle for government work.
Southern California was swept by destructive brushfires Tuesday. Everything possible was done to prevent them. After he heard what started the Colorado fire, Governor Davis asked all husbands who are jilting their wives to do so by telephone.
The World Cup quarterfinals in South Korea on Friday night will showcase the United States versus Germany in a single elimination match. The stakes are high, as usual. Why is it that every time we play the Germans, it's always for the World?
The American Muslim Council reported Tuesday that more and more Hispanics are converting to Islam. There is one upside to this. President Bush's proposal for an open border with Mexico now gets the biggest laugh of the evening whenever he runs his White House blooper reel.
The Coast Guard warned Tuesday that al-Qaeda fighters are sailing toward Los Angeles to commit some act of terrorism. Nobody changed travel plans. Every day another boatload of people arrives in Los Angeles with a really bad idea for a pilot.
The Washington Post said al-Qaeda operatives are protecting their assets from seizure by converting them into gold and diamonds. What they can't carry, they wear. It explains the recent rash of Liberace sightings in Europe and Pakistan.
Accused twentieth hijacker Zacarias Moussaoui asked a federal court Tuesday for a change of venue from Northern Virginia to Colorado. His public relations skills are a little weak. He's not going to get anywhere with an American jury by reminding everybody that he lost nineteen of his closest friends on September 11th.
Don Rumsfeld released his financial disclosure report Tuesday which revealed that he's worth $200 million. No wonder the Bush Administration is so adamant about honor and dignity. No fling with an intern is worth $100 million plus alimony.
The FBI said Monday it sextupled the number of prosecutions for terrorism. Not again. The last time the FBI prosecuted sextuplets, they all turned out to be eighteen years old and Mr. Hefner was free to take them back across the state line.
Enron revealed Monday it paid $744 million to top executives the year before the company declared bankruptcy. It's shaken confidence in Wall Street. Public regard for corporate executives is so low now that O.J Simpson is telling CEO jokes.