Jewish World Review Jan. 14, 2003 / 11 Shevat, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
Shaquille O'Neal apologized Friday for speaking Chinese
gibberish in response to a question about Yao Ming. His attempt at
nonsensical humor was broadcast all over Asia. He swears he had no
idea he was telling North Korea to put up or shut up.
New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson met with North Koreans
in Santa Fe. This place is used to dealing with delusional, self-
centered people. Another ten thousand of them move into town every
time the state of California raises taxes.
Pope John Paul II was asked by French chefs to remove
gluttony from the list of the seven deadly sins. It seems so
unnecessary. After collaborating with the Nazis and encouraging
Jerry Lewis, if Frenchmen go to hell it won't be over cream sauce.
Seattle Airport was evacuated last week after an airport
security screener was discovered asleep at his post. There was no
cause for alarm. The security guard turned out to be nothing
more
than a drunk pilot who passed out on his way to work.
Democrats accused Republican Senate Majority Leader Bill
Frist Sunday of supporting the drug companies throughout his
career. What do the liberals expect? People who work with scalpels
really need to have access to painkillers stronger than marijuana.
The London Times said Sunday that Bill Clinton might be
tapped as Chancellor of Oxford University. What a distinguished
way to wind up his career. Someday, Leonardo DiCaprio could win an
Academy Award for playing Bill Clinton in Goodbye Mr. Chicks.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements,
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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