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Jewish World Review Jan. 14, 2003 / 11 Shevat, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Shaquille O'Neal apologized Friday for speaking Chinese gibberish in response to a question about Yao Ming. His attempt at nonsensical humor was broadcast all over Asia. He swears he had no idea he was telling North Korea to put up or shut up.

New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson met with North Koreans in Santa Fe. This place is used to dealing with delusional, self- centered people. Another ten thousand of them move into town every time the state of California raises taxes.

Pope John Paul II was asked by French chefs to remove gluttony from the list of the seven deadly sins. It seems so unnecessary. After collaborating with the Nazis and encouraging Jerry Lewis, if Frenchmen go to hell it won't be over cream sauce.

Seattle Airport was evacuated last week after an airport security screener was discovered asleep at his post. There was no cause for alarm. The security guard turned out to be nothing more than a drunk pilot who passed out on his way to work.

Democrats accused Republican Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist Sunday of supporting the drug companies throughout his career. What do the liberals expect? People who work with scalpels really need to have access to painkillers stronger than marijuana.

The London Times said Sunday that Bill Clinton might be tapped as Chancellor of Oxford University. What a distinguished way to wind up his career. Someday, Leonardo DiCaprio could win an Academy Award for playing Bill Clinton in Goodbye Mr. Chicks.



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© 2002, Argus Hamilton