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Jewish World Review Oct. 8, 2002 / 2 Mar-Cheshvan, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports


And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The Los Angeles Times said the White House plans to put Saddam Hussein on trial for war crimes. The charges include mass executions, genocide, ethnic cleansing and rape. They added rape, although eyewitnesses agree Kuwait was dressed provocatively.

Sen. Tom Daschle said the Homeland Security proposal is a union-buster. He claims it takes us back to the days when a president was free to hand out patronage jobs to hacks. Apparently, something about Roger Clinton really rubbed him the wrong way.

The Central Intelligence Agency is convinced that Saddam Hussein is trying to build a nuclear device. The agency's track record is a little shaky. Only a week ago, they were convinced that George Steinbrenner had put together another juggernaut.

The FAA proposed Saturday that airlines install new seats to help passengers survive plane wrecks. They think new seats can save lives. The mystery is, how are they going to train upholstery to check immigration papers and country of origin?

The White House urged West Coast longshoremen and management to end the dock shutdown Sunday. Republicans can only blame themselves. This strike would have been over by now if Rudy Giuliani hadn't convicted everybody who had any influence.



JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton