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Jewish World Review March 19, 2003 / 15 Adar II, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Dixie Chicks fans in Louisiana crushed their CDs with a sixteen-ton tractor Saturday after the group insulted President Bush last week. It gets worse. There's a strong French influence in Louisiana so imagine how much trouble they face in Mississippi.

President Jacques Chirac of France spoke to CBS' 60 Minutes Sunday. It didn't go very smoothly. The French president was interrupted when a halogen spotlight exploded overhead and his security detail left the room with their hands in the air.

President Bush addressed the nation Monday and announced that diplomacy is at an end with Saddam Hussein and his regime. The announcement caused citizens in Baghdad to rush out and purchase supplies. Every store was jam-packed except Target.

President Bush on Monday gave Saddam Hussein forty-eight hours to get out of Iraq. Saddam is worth two billion dollars and has been offered political asylum in Russia, but that's not enough. He wants his own presidential library in Yorba Linda.

President Bush invited the world to join America in disarming Saddam Hussein, prompting Poland to offer two hundred soldiers. It's all they dare risk. Poland is keeping most of its troops close to home until Germany decides which side it's on.

Saddam Hussein said Sunday that Iraq would take the war to the United States anywhere in the world by land, by sea, or by air. How evil is this guy? He ended his speech by saying that he still considers Elizabeth Smart to be one of his wives.

John Kerry regaled the St. Patrick's Day breakfast in Boston Monday morning with jokes about his newly discovered Jewish heritage. Then he admitted he was part English, forgetting the oldest rule in show business. Quit while you're ahead.

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