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Jewish World Review May 28, 2003 / 26 Iyar, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Texas Democrats were ordered by WD-40 to stop using their company name. They called themselves WD-40s because they are white Democrats over forty. The only lubricant willing to be associated with Democrats is designed to wake the neighbors.

The Pentagon said U.S. soldiers pay Baghdad police, electrical, and sanitation workers every day in $20 bills. It's bad news for Democrats. In addition to knowing how to win a war in two weeks, the Army will return trained and ready to run Chicago.

Christine Todd Whitman resigned last week as head of the Environmental Protection Agency. The challenges of the job are simply too overwhelming. It's so smoggy in Houston that people deliberately crash their cars so they can suck on the air bags.

The New York Times suspended Pulitzer Prize winning reporter Rick Bragg over the weekend for failing to attribute some of his writing to a stringer in Florida. The Times just fired reporter Jayson Blair for plagiarism. In their defense, it must be said that no newspaper reported the looting of Baghdad with more empathy.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton