Jewish World Review Feb. 19, 2003 / 17 Adar I, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
Peter O'Toole backtracked and agreed to receive a Lifetime
Achievement Oscar next month. It should be an exciting night. To
please the international viewers, France will be getting a special
Oscar for Best Performance in a Non-Supporting Role.
NBC's Dateline aired a two-hour special Monday about Michael
Jackson's plastic surgery over the last twenty years. Talk about
bizarre. Michael Jackson is the only pop star of the era who
didn't do cocaine and he still managed to destroy his nose.
The Eastern Seaboard was hit by a blizzard Sunday turning
Washington D.C. into a winter spectacle. Everyone got out their
cameras. Americans won't see this many flakes in one place again
until the Democratic presidential debates start in January.
The European Union voted Monday to give Iraq one last chance
to disarm. It's getting close to war. No one wants to say how much
time Saddam Hussein has, but whenever he walks into a state
banquet the band plays the theme from Final Jeopardy.
French President Jacques Chirac insulted Eastern Europe
Monday by suggesting that they shut up about Iraq. It's just a
request. He can't force them to be quiet because every hardware
store within a thousand miles is sold out of duct tape.
North Korean leader Kim Jong Il celebrated his 61st birthday
Sunday. Spy satellites kept a close watch. He spends $60,000 a
year on his personal supply of Hennessey and when he blew out the
candles on the cake the flash almost set off World War III.
Nixon aide Alexander Butterfield claimed Sunday that Richard
Nixon taped Oval Office conversations for history. Much of what he
said on the tapes was bigoted and anti-Semitic. To this day,
Richard Nixon is considered the Father of Rap Music.
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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