Jewish World Review June 5, 2002 / 24 Sivan, 5762
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Queen Elizabeth was cheered by a million people at Buckingham Palace during her Golden Jubilee concert on Monday. No nation offers more pageantry. Britain would have won the Revolutionary War, but they insisted on wearing red in the woods.
The L.A. Lakers pursue their third straight NBA title tonight at the Staples Center. Security will be tight. It's the only place in the world where Osama bin Laden is safe from being captured because nobody in this crowd needs the $25 million.
President Bush issued a first-strike threat against Saddam Hussein Saturday. The CIA says the dictator protects himself with sixteen doubles walking around Baghdad each day. That breaks Senator Kennedy's spring break record by three doubles.
President Bush flew to Little Rock to push welfare reform Monday. He said he is concerned about all the fatherless children in the South. For once President Bush could have blamed everything on Bill Clinton and not been too far off the mark.
President Bush said he wants welfare recipients to be required to work forty hours per week. It's an important first step. However, we won't really be making progress until the 40-hour work week is required at the Central Intelligence Agency.
Egyptian President Mubarak said Monday he warned the CIA a week before September 11th of coming terror attacks. U.S. intelligence agents dropped the ball. TV Land just canceled Get Smart because the network has a policy against running documentaries.
CIA Director George Tenet is in the Middle East this week trying to promote peace between Israelis and Palestinians. It's no secret why. The attacks have been so bad lately, he had to get away to the Middle East for some peace and quiet.
The State Department hired an ad executive to craft a positive U.S. message to the Muslim world. Everything about American culture seems to offend practicing Muslims. This week's anti-terrorism bill alone has $31 billion worth of pork in it.
Tonya Harding was in court Monday for a DUI she picked up while on probation for smacking a boyfriend with a hubcap. What a crime spree. Even the blouse she was wearing was a little something Winona Ryder picked up for her in Beverly Hills.
The New York State Education Department deleted what they considered to be insensitive references from classic literature on the high school English exam. Every reference to race was cut. How the word English survived is anybody's guess.
Jose Canseco said most Major Leaguers are pumped up on steroids. Fans are starting to notice. One guy stepped up to home plate Sunday with his chest bursting out of his uniform and arms as big as tree trunks, and that was the bat boy.