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Jewish World Review June 11, 2003 / 11 Sivan, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | NBC in Hollywood refused to fire For Love or Money star Rob Campos when they learned he left the Marines after groping a female officer. Why fire him for that? This is Los Angeles, where murdering your wife is considered nothing your lawyer can't handle.

Hillary Clinton began promoting her White House memoir Living History, which had a first printing of one million books. It's number two on the Amazon bestseller list behind Harry Potter. She's always number two to the guy with the magic.

Hillary Clinton was interviewed by Barbara Walters Sunday. She said she decided to stay with her husband after getting down on her knees. Of course she meant prayer, but ABC ran the clip all weekend thinking it was the sensational part.

Sharon Stone may play Hillary Clinton in a movie based on the book Hillary's Choice. It's an unauthorized biography. Bill Clinton let it be known through his office spokesman that if Sharon Stone plays his wife, he would like to play himself.

Martha Stewart counter-attacked the feds Wednesday with a public information campaign. She said she's gotten six million visits to her new web site. The site looks very good, however close inspection reveals it's probably a body double.

The Transportation Security Administration said Monday pilots may be allowed to use stun guns in the cockpit for safety purposes. Hopefully these stun guns can do the trick. Black coffee doesn't always snap the pilots into flying condition.

The Centers for Disease Control confirmed four cases of monkeypox in humans Monday. It's awful. They think monkeypox is transmitted from pet prairie dogs, and the last thing they need at the Tony Awards is another ribbon to wear next year.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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01/02/03:Annual Review of the Past Year's Mischief
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton