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Jewish World Review Sept. 17, 2002 / 11 Tishrei, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The Rolling Stones tour is breaking attendance records across North America. Nobody holds their advanced age against them. The Rolling Stones arrive in Texas in November and already they are a three-touchdown favorite over the Dallas Cowboys.

Janet Reno demanded recounts Friday in Florida precincts that showed zero voter turnout in heavily Democratic districts. Tens of thousands of votes were suppressed. Janet Reno isn't sure what happened to her in Florida Tuesday, but it is starting to look like somebody slipped her some Rohypnol at her last Dance Party.

President Bush dared Democrats Friday to oppose his hard- line stance against Iraq. It's going to be up to young people to provide any peace movement. Baby Boomers are carrying picket signs outside the White House reading Make War Not Love.

President Bush threatened war on Iraq and demanded democracy in the entire Muslim world in his U.N. speech Thursday. Colin Powell was shown listening to the president's speech through translation headphones. Nikita Khruschev once banged his shoe at the U.N. to show his contempt for U.S. policy but Episcopalians

The New York Daily News said Bill Clinton is advertising for interns for his Harlem office. The requirements are standard. Applicants must be dependable, enthusiastic, adaptable and have previous experience as a professional glassblower.



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© 2002, Argus Hamilton