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Jewish World Review July 2, 2003 / 2 Tamuz, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Tropical Storm Bill slammed into the Gulf Coast Monday. High winds destroyed businesses and completely knocked out power. This is a perfect chance to show Baghdad how fast we can restore water and electricity when nobody is shooting at us.

The Milwaukee Bucks refused Michael Jordan's bid to buy the team Sunday. It's for the best. With Michael Jordan's history of gambling and womanizing and going to strip bars, he is wasting his life if he doesn't become a college football coach.

The House of Commons, voting against government wishes, banned all fox hunting with dogs in Great Britain Monday. The hunters wear bright red coats and they ride around in the woods. It's the same camouflage that cost them thirteen colonies.

Hillary Clinton held a book signing at a Pasadena bookstore Sunday. The Secret Service stood guard to make sure that no one got in without buying a book. This is the first indication she earned back her advance and is now on straight commission.

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The Bill Clinton Library announced Friday it will open next year. It's quite an exhibit. The library includes a full-sized replica of Bill Clinton's Oval Office and a statue of an advisor knocking on the door asking the president if he's decent.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton