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Jewish World Review August 1, 2002 /23 Menachem-Av, 5762

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Austin Powers in Goldmember broke all box office records for comedy. However the writers shouldn't have set the action back in the 1970s. Baby Boomers are leaving the movie theater saying Dr. Evil couldn't shine Richard Nixon's shoes.

Florida residents tried out a new touch-screen voting system in a Broward County election this week. Laws against convicted felons voting have been loosened. For instance, Pee Wee Herman is now allowed to vote in Florida, he just can't close the curtain all the way.

The Los Angeles Times building was evacuated Monday when a man threatened to blow it up. It wasn't anything against the newspaper. What people like about the Los Angeles Times is that it doesn't clutter up your mind with opposing points of view.

Jimmy Carter offered to mediate the dispute between baseball players and team owners to avoid a strike. What a colossal ego. Just because he can get a signed peace agreement between Israel and Egypt, he thinks he can work miracles.

The U.S. Senate admonished Senator Bob Torricelli of New Jersey. He illegally received cash, suits, a Rolex and jewelry. Although he wasn't expelled, he still faces censure by the New Jersey Chamber of Commerce for not checking for microphones.

Senator Robert Byrd halted the Homeland Security bill on Tuesday calling the whole thing hasty and reckless. It's his fifth decade in the Senate. He's seen a lot of changes in the last fifty years, and he's been against every one of them.

Senator Bill Frist of Tennessee introduced a bill Tuesday that would spend $217 million to reduce obesity. How timely. Anna Nicole Smith just announced she is dating two men and there's every evidence that their names are Ben and Jerry.

Bill Clinton spoke at a children's charity fundraising dinner in Toronto on Monday. The timing of his visit raised eyebrows. Sure, Toronto had just hosted the Pope for three days and was ready for a change of pace, but this is ridiculous.



JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton