Jewish World Review Feb. 24, 2003 / 22 Adar I, 5763
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Tiger Woods blew up at the Riviera Country Club when a cellphone went off in the gallery Thursday. The offender was arrested. So you see, contrary to what the O.J. Simpson verdict led most people to believe, not everything is legal in Brentwood.
Mike Tyson fought Clifford Etienne in Memphis Saturday. One guy is a rapist and the other an armed robber. It wasn't a bad fight considering the terms of their parole don't allow them to get within one hundred feet of each other.
Senator Robert Byrd plays a Confederate officer in Gods and Generals. It was shrewd casting by the producers. They knew no other way to obtain Park Service permits for battlefield filming and an affirmative action waiver for an all-white army.
The Los Angeles City Council voted to oppose a U.S. war against Iraq. They had their reasons. They're concerned that a protracted war could deplete the number of National Guard troops available to quell the riots after the Robert Blake trial.
Hans Blix warned Saddam Hussein he must destroy his missile program by March 1st. It will be close. No one wants to say that time is running out, but Saddam Hussein just offered Joe Montana a dozen oil wells to teach him the two-minute drill.
ABC News reports Hillary Clinton may give the Jefferson- Jackson Dinner keynote speech in Iowa this fall. The locals hate to see the presidential campaign end. When the candidates return home, Iowans have to go back to fertilizing the crops themselves.
Democratic candidate Howard Dean stole the show with his speech at the party meeting in Washington Friday. He's a physician and his wife's a physician. They were the first to notice that John Kerry had a little hitch in his walk last month.
Turkey demanded $32 billion from Colin Powell for help on Iraq. He said he's looking for a creative financial solution. Five Arthur Andersen accountants have been taken off the license plate assembly line and ordered to make the numbers work.
Gary Hart got in trouble in San Francisco when he implied that American Jews have dual loyalties. He's panic-stricken. He just promised to commit adultery with the first Jewish girl that looks twice at him during the presidential campaign.
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