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Jewish World Review May 16, 2003 / 14 Iyar, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | President Bush held a meeting with the president of South Korea Wednesday at the White House. Our Asian ally feels very threatened. If North Korea launched a nuclear attack on Los Angeles, it could wipe out half the population of South Korea.

The New York Times was rocked by news of Jayson Blair's thirty-six fabricated stories. It's the worst thing that ever happened to them. To mark the newspaper's humiliation and fall from grace, the Nixon Library served free ice cream and punch.

John Kerry proposed an $80 billion health care plan Thursday to compete with health care plans of other candidates. It recognizes an aging population. You can still get drugs backstage at Rolling Stone concerts, only now there's a $50 co-pay.

Troy Aikman signed Wednesday to host a sports talk show on the Sporting News Radio Network this fall. What on earth does he know about sports? Any guy who has spent his entire career with the Dallas Cowboys should have a show on Court TV.

An Unfinished Life says Jack Kennedy took speed, testosterone, cortisone and codeine in the White House. He also had lots of women. Jack Kennedy did everything possible to show young people that you don't have to drink in order to have a good time.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton