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Jewish World Review May 6, 2003 / 4 Iyar, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The Russian Soyuz capsule hard-landed in Kazakhstan Sunday with three astronauts aboard. The control system failed on re- entry and no one knew for hours where the craft landed. Is there any wonder why the number-one department store in Russia is called Off-Target.

John Kerry showed up for Saturday's Democratic presidential debate with a terrible cold that made his voice break. He sounded like a teenager whose voice was changing. Democrats will do anything to remind voters of Jack Kennedy, even if it's just his hormone levels.

Colin Powell lectured Syrian President Bashar Assad for three hours Saturday. He talked tough to him and warned of sanctions and worse. It's embarrassing to watch a lifelong Episcopalian give out a Rebel yell to try to fit in with the group.

Monica Lewinsky was selected to host the new hit show for Fox Network called Mr. Personality. This answers one major question in Hollywood. For years, actresses have been asking themselves who they have to sleep with to get a break in this town.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton